So that's why!

When I was a little kid, that 1969 Topps card above scared me. It literally made me a bit uneasy just looking at it.

You see, Zoilo Versalles does not at all look like a baseball player in this card. It really looks like the photograph might have been taken at the prison yard at Rikers Island or just before Zoilo did something horrible to get himself sent to Rikers Island. Why so angry?

Another thing. Zoilo Versalles looks like really really old in that card. At this point in his career, he would have only been 28 years old but in this card, he looks worn and weathered and closer to 48 years old. Where did the other two decades go?

I also remember that as a kid, I had a hard time assimiliating Zoilo Versalles' name with his face and that creeped me out a little. You know how Mickey Mantle looked like a "Mickey" and Joe Torre looks like a "Joe"? Well in my 7 year old mind, I thought this guy kind of looked like "Gonna Kill You" with his first, middle and last names but not really a Zoilo. I had never met a Zoilo before (or since) so I did not know what a Zoilo looked like. Was this the template? Ok but.....

As an adult, in looking through various Zoilo Versalles cards, I think they offer an important clue as to why he looked so darn angry in that 1969 card. It's probably the "Zorro" thing. Now Zoilo grew up in Cuba and no doubt worked hard perfecting his baseball skills enough that he came to the United States and then continued working his way up the minor league ladder and up to the major leagues. The pinnacle, right?

He then finally gets his own Topps rookie card in 1961 and he looks at it and sees himself identified as "Zorro Versalles". Zorro! This was probably the name that all the kids constantly teased him with growing up! He turned to baseball to get away from all that! He of all people did not need this type of error on his rookie card. He couldn't even show it to his family and friends!

Then Zoilo Versalles improbably wins the 1965 A.L. MVP and after that, people should be able to remember him by his real name, right? Especially a card company. No! On the back of the 1968 card, they mention his 1965 A. L. MVP award however it is accompanied by a Zorro cartoon figure playing baseball with a cape, mask and sword. What the...? He was 1965 A. L. MVP and this is how Topps "honors" him? He has reason to be angry. For the ten millionth time, he is not Zorro! Never has been. Never will be. He never even held a sword and only wore a mask at Halloween and also that one night. I can see how this could put anybody into a life-long funk.

Well, after all these years of wondering about that card, I think the mystery behind it has finally been solved. Listen here people! It's Zoilo! Not Zorro! He doesn't know nothing about fencing! He doesn't usually wear black! Get it right!

Everybody's got a right to their own name after all.*

*This does not however touch on the question of why this guy looks so "old" in that card. Oh, well. I know that Zoilo Versalles died in 1995 and no doubt had enough of the "Zorro" thing up until then. Because of that, we should probably cut him some slack regarding the "appearance" thing. Ok?.......but he did look pretty ancient there though.