Is this Hell?

Over at bleedcubbieblue.com, there is an interesting discussion regarding the present state of the bleachers at Wrigley Field.

Here are some excerpts:

"People are throwing up on themselves (and others) and not even bothering to at least go to the restroom and try and wash it off. Nope, they'd rather wear it the rest of the game like some Chunky Badge of Courage."

"Pushing, shoving, beer-spilling, nacho cheese-tossing and a general degradation of social interaction is now considered the norm."

"I have seen people, more times than I can count, throw back eight, ten, twelve beers during a three-hour baseball game for no other purpose than to get stinking drunk."

"The homophobic taunting is commonplace, and of course the swearing is off the charts."

"And here's the latest low - guys are starting to relieve themselves in the bleachers. That's right - IN the bleachers. Apparently they attempt to stream it into a cup but given their drunken state, it's only a matter of time before their aim is off or their cup is knocked over."

What the?!

This sounds like Bartertown in that Mad Max movie Beyond Thunderdome or Hell in Dante's Inferno; take your pick.

First off, what kind of person drinks 12 beers in public at a time? Alcohol in moderation or just a "little" over the line is ok (no driving though) but consuming 12 beers in public is not legal if you think about it and definitely not fun.

Also what is this throwing up on yourself and not cleaning up stuff? Do these guys just sit right back down in all their glory and scream "Go Cubbies!" like nothing happened?

I don't get this.

Where I come from, if you throw up at a party but make it to the bathroom in time, you can usually stay. If for some reason, you cannot make it to the bathroom and blow projectile chunks on yourself, other people, in the fish tank or in someone's purse, your night is over. It just is. Nobody wants you there anymore. Trust me. If you in an alcohol-induced state, throw up on your person at Wrigley Field, do everybody a favor and just leave.

Also when you feel that little tingle and you need to relieve yourself, just get up and go to the bathroom. Kids in kindergarten do it. They even raise their hand beforehand. You don't just do it where you sit because you don't want to get up. A cup is not a urinal, sorry. People should not have to fear a warm yellow waterfall splash from your area. People also shouldn't have to wear galoshes to the park. Some people might even want to wear shorts. Get up and go find a bathroom and do your business in private. Not in your seat. Basic Hygiene 101.

What it all boils down to I guess is why pay a $30-$40 cover charge to sit on a (maybe wet) bleacher seat and consume massive quantities of overpriced draft beer until you are completely wasted?

Why in Chicago of all places?

There are things to do in Chicago!

Every time I am there, I have a good time.*

I am not getting this.

*At a local Chicago tavern near closing time a few years back, a guy nearby put out a candle on his table with a stream of........well "water" from his nether regions. Yep I saw that.**

**A lady friend in our group screamed in horror, "You are going to burn yourself,"just before the flame was doused. True story. He left before most people even knew what happened. He sure knew how to make a memorable exit.