Mark Melancon is a statistician's dream!

Has a ratio of 45 hits per 9 innings, 22.5 home runs per 9 innings and 9 walks per nine innings.

Has just 6 swings and misses all year but has allowed 5 home runs.

Has thrown 60% fastballs this year but does not have a swing and miss with that pitch.

Is just the 8th pitcher in 90 years to allow 3 home runs without recording an out.

Has an ERA (49.50) higher than Jamie Moyer's age (49.44).

And undoubtedly more stuff!

And the Red Sox ruined the party by sending him to AAA!