Cleveland people sure seem easily "afraided"

When I am at the park and that happens, I just imagine that it is a Harry Potter broom stick and the fear immediately dissipates.*

*Got hit with a hockey puck at a game a few years ago so still working on proper "risk avoidance" techniques for that sport. I was mistakenly imagining it to be a bullet (which it practically was) but now I have switched over to a marshmallow. So far, so good!

The Indians will wait before calling up Carlos Santana

Per Paul Hoynes at the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Indians will not be calling up catcher, Carlos Santana after Class AA Akron is finished with the Eastern League playoffs.

Hey hold up a second here! Hold on! The Indians have Carlos Santana in their system?! How did I miss this?

I know he can play some mean guitar riffs and played at Woodstock and he wears a lot of bandannas and all but how many different skills does this guy have?

Are they just going to give him one spring training at-bat like the Yankees did with Billy Crystal or will they let him play in the field like the Padres did with Garth Brooks that one time? Will he be like Sidd Finch who almost got to pitch with the Mets that one year? Will he get more at bats than Eddie Gaedel?

Not casting any aspersions but there is also drug testing in this league that the Indians are going to have to think about here.

I know that he could probably play some tunes in the clubhouse and keep everybody loose and all but I am just not getting this one.

What will his walk-up music be for his at-bats?

Pronk keeps rolling on....and nobody cares

I note that Travis Hafner hit a home run in last night's Indians/Royals game. The game story indicates that Hafner now has 158 home runs with the Indians (Baseballreference.com gives him 159 not counting the lone Texas home run. What's up?) which puts him 4 behind Ken Keltner for 10th in Cleveland history.

When I was in Cleveland a few weeks ago to watch the Tigers play the Indians, I did not hear anything about this historic chase. Not one thing! I saw Pronk's banner up in the stadium but nothing about this. I mean like zilch.

Come on Cleveland! This is history in the making. Get on board. It is not too late.

Granted it is not like the river is on fire or anything but it is something.

Right?

The Indians won't quit with the Victor Martinez giveaways

So yesterday, the Indians had another Victor Martinez* giveaway, this time giving away backpacks with a Victor Martinez "autograph" imprinted on it to all kids 14 and under. This would be the second giveaway by the Indians in less than a week for a player who plays for another team.

Conversation overheard in the Indians offices after the game:

Promotions manager: Well, I am glad that is all over. That was SO embarrassing.

Lowly Indians employee: Umm boss.....we just found 20,000 Victor Martinez visors in the corner of the storage room.

Promotions manager: *#$@%!

*Was Victor Martinez a god there? I thought Grady Sizemore was The Man in Cleveland.

Victor Martinez bobblehead night!

Cleveland Indians executive team meeting early Friday.

Indians GM, Mark Shapiro: Ok, so everybody is aware and nobody gets blindsided on this, I am just letting you all know that we are trading Victor Martinez to the Red Sox today.

Promotions Guy: Whoa! Whoa! Hold on just one second here! We have a Victor Martinez bobblehead giveaway scheduled for Saturday. I have like 35,000 of these things to give away. We are going to look like idiots if we trade Martinez and then give these things away the next day. Isn't there anything you can do about this? Please don't say no.

Shapiro: The trade deadline is today. I can't hold off until Sunday. It's now or never.

Promotions Guy: Can't you call Bud or something? Remember, he owes us a favor for when we had to play that "home" game in Milwaukee a few years ago. We even had to fly our drummer bleacher fan out there and we never got reimbursed.

Shapiro: No, I can't call Bud. Things don't work that way.

Promotions Guy: I am going to look ridiculous!

Shapiro: There's really nothing I can do. Sorry.

Promotions Guy: Don't trade him!

Shapiro: It's a done deal. I have been negotiating this for a while. The papers are signed. Plus if we back out now, we are just going to get sued and if you remember we are trying to watch all our expenses and that includes legal expenses.

Promotions Guy: I always lose these things! Always! Nobody like me here!

(Door slams)

(Awkward silence)

Meeting over.

(Inspired by Cleveland Indians fans who I met today at Progressive Field who were amused to receive Victor Martinez bobbleheads the night before)

Seagulls seem to really like baseball

Anybody who has watched the Cleveland Indians this week was treated to the site of a massive seagull invasion of Progressive Field. Seagulls here, there and everywhere culminating in a seagull being hit by the game winning batted ball in shallow center field on Thursday.

In an article on mlb.com titled "Tribe devises plan to scare off seagulls", it is noted that the Indians are considering ways to rid themselves of these pesky birds including setting off fireworks every half inning. They are also considering using a live eagle to swoop down and chase the birds around and out of the park. (I would buy a ticket)

Indians Vice President of Public Relations, Bob DiBiasio said "Gulls are riding the wind currents up the valley to the ballpark in search of food scraps to feed their young. The Indians are continuing to research ways to control this issue under the guidance of gulls being federally protected."

Wait, hold on!

Seagulls are a federally protected animal species?

Since when?

Why?

Anybody that has spent any time near a body of water of any size can probably tell you that seagulls appear to be the most abundant animal species on earth. There is a shortage of them? By what measure? From my own experience, I can say that it is darn near impossible to consume even the smallest morsel of food anywhere near our local lakes without being swarmed by these birds.

I sure hope that these seagulls are federally protected in a "you can't just kill animals indiscriminately" kind of way rather than for preservation of the species because this is one species that sure seems to be thriving. A true success story; if you will.

What other animals are federally protected?

Crows?

Squirrels?

Are beagles federally protected?

If not, they need some better lobbyists or something.