Overly friendly and helpful Meijer Guy (OFHMG): May I help you?
Me: No I don't think so. I just need to pick up some Crazy Glue which I see right here. Thanks, anyway!
OFHMG: Well what do you need it for?
Me: Oh, I just want to glue an arm back on a baseball bobblehead guy that got hit by a hockey puck at our house.
OFHMG: Well if you go in the back in the Hardware Department, we have all kinds of adhesives including epoxies, cements, pastes etc etc etc (long list).
Me: Ok but the guy's arm weighs like next to the nothing and I could probably get away with it with Elmer's Glue but I thought I would step up to Crazy Glue just to be safe. I have done it before. We gotta lot of pucks flying around our house. Mostly from our 9 year old. Doesn't know when to quit, you know.
OFHMG: Ok but I would really recommend that you visit our Hardware Department for a product that truly meets your needs.
Me: Ok, maybe I will go back there. Thanks.
OFHMG: No, thank you!
Fifteen year old son "Computer Boy": That was too much information, dad. They do that at Home Depot but not here. Does he get paid more for that?
Me: No, he's not on commission. He gets paid the same as if he never even talked to us.
Computer Boy: Geez!
Me: Yeah, but he's better than those employees that are always smoking in front of the store when we're walking in.
Computer Boy: Oh yeah. No doubt.
