Fireworks primer for Edwin Encarnacion

Per Enrique Rojas of ESPNdeportes.com, Blue Jays third baseman, Edwin Encarnacion suffered first and second-degree burns on his forehead and the right side of his face when a rocket firecracker hit him in the jaw and exploded near his mouth while celebrating the New Year at his home in La Romana, Dominican Republic. According to Encarnacion, one of his brothers lit a rocket firecracker and instead of flying upwards it moved laterally and hit Encarnacion. The article goes on state that it appears that Encarnacion will be ok after some medical treatment. Good for Edwin.

You know, I was something of a teenage fireworks "expert" every Fourth of July way back when so I think I can help here.

Here are some tips for Edwin regarding fireworks* and fireworks use. This is not "book" knowledge but instead was learned on the mean streets of Warren, Michigan.

1. Black Cats, Lady Fingers, Zebras - You have to be careful obviously but you are probably going to be ok with these. You didn't hear it here but you can probably do a "light and throw it" thing with these. We sure did. On the off-chance that one of these blow up in your hand, you will still probably be ok. Oh, it will sting and burn and you may have some localized charred skin but you will probably retain all digits. We did. If this is too dangerous for you, you are going to have downsize to sparklers. Fun and everything but it is a sparkler, you know.

2. Roman Candles, fountains and shooting stand-up sparkler things - Ok, a step up here. Most people put these on the ground, light them, walk away and enjoy the show. Some people, mostly of the inebriated variety, hold these in their hands while sparks shoot from the top. NOT recommended by the manufacturer or me. I have never done this and I believe that you can get burned as the sparks can do some serious damage to your arm hair though the alcohol can act as an anesthetic, I guess. Even if you have no arm hair, don't do it. Ok?

3. Flying stuff - Sounds like what Edwin had. Light these and get away. These can have a pretty unpredictable trajectory or flight path. We once lit off a flaming rocket and it flew right through an open window of someone's parked car which provided a great light (and smoke) show in the front seat of that car. The show was short-lived though as we had to run like hell out of there. We didn't have the money to pay for that damage. What would you do? Ok, then.

4. M-80s and dynamite sticks - Just stay away from this stuff. Much too powerful and no safe way to detonate. It's kind of like owning a pit bull that has mauled people before. It's just not worth the risk. If you like to hear really loud booms, just go to a Kansas City Royals game and hope that Kyle Farnsworth pitches.

Well, Edwin, this is all I got and really just came off the top of my head. Feel free to print this for future use. I haven't copyrighted it or anything.

Happy to help.

*How is it that firecracker manufacturers don't get sued out of existence by injured people? Surely, they can't get insurance. Right?