The most internally conflicted name in baseball

All for only $4.85 million a year!

You can't tell me that creepy "Jack" thing didn't have anything to do with this weird mishap!

I DON'T KNOW HOW!

But I KNOW it can't be coincidental.

I mean look at that thing!

Angel Pagan

If pronounced Anglo, his mother certainly had a sense of humor.

At least, she gave him a choice.*

*All these kids that are named "Christian"; what if they have other ideas?