Jack Morris

When my wife was a teenager, she was driving with a friend in an unfamiliar neighborhood and became lost.

They used the apron of a driveway of a large house to turn around. That house was owned by Jack Morris.

He happened to be outside at the time and told these two young nice ladies to "Get the hell out of here!"

I don't care if Jack Morris gets elected to the Hall of Fame.

(Now I could see if they were driving like a real a big cement truck and cracked the driveway or something but apparently they were just driving a Volvo.)

I only vote for winners!

Philadelphia Daily News columnist, Bill Conlin had an article on his Hall of Fame ballot which contains this mind-bender of a paragraph (well actually two):

"I voted for Tim Raines his first year of eligibility. But when he failed to get 25 percent of the vote, he was moved to the back burner. Sorry, that's just the way it has to be. Maybe more eligible ballwriters should have measured the Rock's career numbers in all phases against those of analog basestealer and first-ballot inductee Lou Brock. Try it, you'll be amazed.

Good news for Raines, however. Yesterday, in one of the most bizarre elections* in a bizarre process, he collected 30 percent and is now back on my radar."

Nope, you don't have to reread it.

He stopped voting for Raines because nobody else did!

Raines got worse while sitting at home and then while still at home, he got better!

Where are the rotten tomatoes?

(Look, I know that you can't take away their voting privilege once they get it but does anybody maybe know anything interesting about Conlin? Can the police pick him up or something?)

*Well he is right on this. Bert Blyleven received only 14.1% of the vote in 1999 but 74.2% of the vote this year. He sure had a good decade; the best of his career in fact!