That's how I got ahead!

Googled rich-people conversations!

How do you like the tasting menu at "Le Bistro"?

Ryan Braun

On this date in 2011, it is announced that Ryan Braun tested positive for PEDS during the postseason.

"This is all B.S. I am completely innocent."

Ryan Braun

Born on today's date, Ryan Braun.

"He lied to us. He forced us (teammates) to lie for him, threw people under the bus in order to help himself out and didn't care, blamed others for his mistakes and it's just a lot of things you don't expect from people. The closer you were to him, the more he would use you." - Zack Greinke on Braun's admission that he used PEDS

A-Rod pissed that his "inner circle's" outing of Ryan Braun....

....only got his lifetime suspension reduced to 211 games. >

We don't need another hero!

Apparently A-Rod called Anthony Weiner and told him to hang in there!

 

 

Ryan didn't really care though.

No one else to blame, you know.

New Braun jersey released

How exactly is this bet paid off?

"I would bet my life that this substance (PEDS) never entered my body at any point." (2-24-12)

I mean he made a bet!

It's not me people!

So stop calling and texting and everything else!

Except MLB teams.

I'll throw a side session for your scouts.

Need to get back!

Remember that press conference where he indignantly denied all charges?

We were all distracted by the hair........so it worked.

But you can't keep your hair like that always.

And slowly the fog lifted.

Umpire called runner at first out because of "interference" at second

And Ryan Braun is ruining the integrity of the game?

"Hey, Ryan Braun?"

"Yeah Ryan, it's Ryan Braun here. Hey maybe you can help me out here. If I slip you (negotiated figure), can you say you......."

Giants fans taunted Ryan Braun today over drugs

I can see that.

I mean it's not like Giant fans ever supported Barry Bonds or anything!

If Ryan Braun wants to earn a little extra coin after retirement....

....he should write a book and call it "If I Did It".

But don't go robbing people of your own memorabilia afterwards!

Because that's dumb!

Ryan Braun's urine sample was tested in Canada?!

Well then it would have had to clear Customs!

And what if they got that crazy Canadian Customs Officer that I always get in Sarnia who only asks me if I was born in Oshawa and when I say "no", he says "go ahead"? That guy ain't right!

And there would have been an exchange rate to deal with too! Messes everything up!

And what if Justin Bieber or the Hanson brothers were involved somehow?

Braun's attorneys must have had a field day!

Come on MLB, tighten this up!

In a strange application of MLB drug testing procedures and French law....

....Ryan Braun is declared the winner of the Tour de France!

These "appeals things" really work!

"MLB vehemently disagrees with the decision rendered today"

Hello!

Your tester took the sample home and stored it in his refrigerator!

It tested "positive" for pickle juice!

Sit down, Bud!

Uh oh!

                                                                               
Apparently there are issues now!

Now it comes out that this lab has a history of typographical errors.

The dude has every right in the world to consume old Halloween candy!

Well he HAS used bad judgement before!

"The best thing he can do....

....is come out, admit everything and be completely honest. The situation will die a lot faster if he tells the whole truth." - on Alex Rodiguez' steroid allegations (February 2009)