Todd Helton announces retirement at end of season

I always thought Todd's facial hair looked "paint-huffer-stainish".

Like those guys that are pulled out of vacant buildings in COPS with spray cans in their hands.

That has always ruined that "look" for me.

Todd Helton got a DUI going out for lottery tickets?!

His weekly "lottery" paycheck is not enough?!

Was he trying get one additional paycheck?

I am all for the human element and all....

....but a professional umpire called this play "out" today.

"How was your day at the office today, honey?"

The shape of Todd Helton's beard....

....looks a little "paint-huffer-stainish" if you ask me.

NOT SAYIN' HE'S DOING ANYTHING!

It just looks like those guys that are pulled out from vacant buildings on COPS with spray cans in their hands.

Not a fashion guru or anything but don't see this coming into style any time soon.

But that's just me.