Calling my agent between innings!

We gotta get Milwaukee OFF my no-trade list!

Not buying it! Sorry!

Gordon Wittenmeyer of the Chicago Sun Times reports that the suspended Carlos Zambrano says that Friday's dugout explosion was "completely misunderstood" and blames Derrek Lee for the incident.

"All he wanted to do was pump the team up" said a Zambrano source when apparently Derrek Lee rudely interrupted him in the middle of his inspirational speech.*

Of course, anybody who saw the video knows this is laughable.

Sources also told Wittenmeyer that Zambranos' rant, much of it in Spanish, included him screaming "This team is horses---!"

Maybe but you can't say it. Especially with a 5.66 ERA.

Aren't guaranteed contracts great?

*Who is this guy's agent? This is not helping one bit if you ask me.

Carlos Lee concentrates A LOT less when nobody is on base; say he

Per Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle, Carlos Lee of the Astros does not concentrate as much when he is at the plate and there are no runners on.

"To be honest, I concentrate A LOT (emphasis mine) more when there are runners on base," Lee said. "I give up less at-bats. (He said it) Sometimes I get away from my game with nobody on and try to drive the ball or hit a double instead of just concentrating on getting a good pitch to hit."

If you think about it, this is great material. You can't make this stuff up! You just can't.

"Hey, Lee is up with 2 outs and nobody on. Let's go get a hot dog."