Shane Victorino

Born on this date, Shane Victorino.

"Anything on the inner half, occasionally he's looking to get hit. He's up there, he's right on top of the plate. And his arms are over the batter's box and over part of the plate. If he doesn't get out of the way, there could be an occasion that it could be a strike and it actually hits him." - Justin Verlander

Do you know how many different muscles he had to use to do this?

Shane just needs to work on his "synchronicity".

Charlie Manuel said Shane Victorino had to charge Ramon Ramirez after getting hit....

...."unless he wants his teammates to call him 'chicken'".

Can't make this stuff up!

I sure hope that was a misquote or taken out of context somehow.

Well they are called The Phightins!

Come again?

Howie Rumberg of AP reports that Phillies manager Charlie Manuel held a closed door meeting after getting shut out for the second consecutive game yesterday.

"There was no yelling. There was no screaming. You know Charlie, he's not going to get deep," Shane Victorino said. "He just wanted to make a few points and he did."

Victorino went on to say that the meeting was about "losing the right way."

Losing the right way?

What the?!

I can think of a hundred things I would want to talk about before that!

I thought the Phillies were supposed to be good this year.

They should maybe trade managers with the White Sox.

Shane Victorino earned that gold glove

He caught that ball in Chicago while being doused with beer from that thug in the stands.

I'm down with this award.

Let's see Jeter do that.

Jon and (maybe) Kate plus Shane

TMZ has reported that reality television star, Jon Gosselin is flying to Hawaii this weekend to attend the wedding of Phillies outfielder, Shane Victorino.

Hmmm.

Well, what does the wedding invitation say anyway?

Are kids invited?

How about the belligerent estranged spouse?

Can they bring their camera crews?

I don't know, Shane. Do you want to be upstaged at your own wedding?

Did you run all this by your wedding planner?

No fractures for Shane. The Fox guys are SO relieved.

Well apparently x-rays of Shane Victorino's hand show no fractures of his fingers as they are just a little bruised.

I am sure that this will come as an immense relief to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver who seemed really REALLY stressed out about this during yesterday's game. They sure seemed very concerned about how Shane Victorino could possibly cope with his fingers in such a disfigured state and if he would be ever able to recover from such a horrible sports injury. They went on and on and on for crying out loud. Didn't they ever break a finger before? I wouldn't be surprised if McCarver gave Victorino the name of his personal physician after the game so to have only the best treat this thing.

I wanted to text these guys somehow and explain to them that there are really no vital organs in the fingers and also to remind them of Three Finger Mordeci Brown just to put their mind at ease and to tell them that there is life after a broken finger after all. I mean there might be a few days of pain followed by some rehab where you might want to twirl your fingers around to test them out but people recover from this. They do. I have seen it.

I wonder what the over/under will be Wednesday on close-up shots of Victorino's hand followed by anguished speculation from these two about whether Victorino can possibly will himself to play through such an injury?

Where's Vin Scully when you need him?

Poor Shane!

In the Phillies/Nationals game story yesterday, it is noted that Phillies center fielder, Shane Victorino left in the seventh inning with a gastrointestinal illness. It is also noted that Nationals catcher, Wil Nieves left with a hamstring injury.

I would rather be Nieves (though it might be hard getting along in life with your first name misspelled*)

*Spellcheck doesn't like it either.

Give him the Bartman treatment, Chicago!

Yep, the low form of life with the sunglasses and stylish white shirt who (ALLEGEDLY) threw the beer. His face has now been seen enough so that it will come out soon just who he is and he can look forward to news crews camped out on the front lawn of his mother's house where he lives, demands for interviews, phone calls to his employer, mothers pushing their kids away from him etc. All that stuff will soon be his reality. He can also exchange that Cubs hat for a paper bag because he is going to need it.

Oh, and memo to "double pointer" guy. Don't taunt the player/victim who got hit with the beer when Security comes around. First, it is unseemly. Second, Security is going to think that you threw the beer and throw you out. It's just common sense. You missed almost half the game and it is your own fault. I don't feel sorry for you at all. But don't feel too bad. The other guy; he's Bartman now.

When was the last time someone bought a ticket to watch the umpires?

This is what Shane Victorino should have asked when he was being thrown out of the game by an umpire 300 feet away who did not like that he raised his hands while standing in center field in reaction to a ball/strike call.

Hey guys, nobody pays to watch you call a game! You are not the show here.

Can't we provoke them to resign in mass like they did years ago and then rehire new ones?

We need a labor dispute or something.