They don't make them like that anymore!

Born on today's date, none other than Whammy Douglas.

Born on yesterday's date, Frank "Creepy" Crespi.

Where are our generation's Whammys and Creepys?

All we have now are Derek Jeter, David Wright, Ryan Howard etc. Good players and all but very boring names desperately in need of a nickname. Sorry guys, it's true.

Didn't you have any friends growing up? How did you grow up with friends and not have a nickname?

Parents, wives, friends, enemies or any person who could bestow a nickname on a professional baseball player, I implore you, get busy!