Card of the Year

It just is.

You can't deny it.

Happy New Year all!

It only takes one to ruin it for all

Happy 38th Birthday to thoroughly average retired pitcher, Esteban Loaiza.

Hate to bring it up but Loaiza's career "lowlight" occurred on June 14, 2006 when with the Oakland A's, he was arrested after being pulled over by police who clocked his Ferrari doing 120 MPH on a California freeway. If that wasn't enough, he also failed a sobriety test.

After the incident, A's general manager, Billy Beane banned alcohol in both the home and visitors clubhouse for good.*

I am sure that Loaiza was REALLY popular upon his first return to the clubhouse after being released from jail.

Flashback to the A's clubhouse, June 15, 2006 when Loaiza walks in:

Silence.

Uncomfortable silence broken by the following coming from the back of the room:

"Thanks a lot! 110 MPH wasn't good enough for you?"

At that moment, Loaiza knew that he was through with the A's.

*No wonder the A's can't sign free agents.

When was the last time....

.....a big name free agent signed with a team his people were consistently saying* that he didn't want to play for because he ran out of options and he didn't want to play for less than "market value"?

You are supposed to be happy when you sign these things, you know.

This should be interesting.

*Peter Gammons reported earlier that Bay would "rather play in Beirut than Queens" and the offer did sit for 3 weeks as Bay apparently kept saying that he couldn't find a pen with ink in it or something.

Give me a break!

If Youkilis was not a ballplayer, there is no way this would be possible.

Sorry.

No way!

Alien encounter

I once knew a guy who believed in aliens. He was actually pretty normal in almost all respects but he believed that aliens had periodically visited Earth.

He read that Whitley Strieber "non-fiction" book, Communion about an alien abduction of the author and bought that story "hook, line and sinker". He thought it was "proof" of.......well something. He thought everybody else was crazy for not believing. That's ok. It is a free country. Again, a nice guy. Who knows. Maybe, he is right.

He was a pretty decent illustrator and hoped to be able to apply his skill as a commercial artist one day. I haven't heard from him in about 20 years though now that I think about it, I should probably do a Facebook search for him.

Anyway, I was going through some 2009 Goudeys and came across the Dave Concepcion card.

I think I know where my friend might be working now.

What is going on here?

Why did guys look so ancient back then? These players were all in their 20's when these photos were taken.

I know that smoking was more prevalent back then but you could chain-smoke day and night and it should not accelerate the aging process this much.

And to top it all off, the manager looks like the rookie of the year.

What's the deal?

How dumb!

How dumb to try that on a plane to Detroit.

On any plane to the "D", you can bet that there will be plenty of people that will whip you up and down like no tomorrow.

Don't believe me?

Drive through the city and look around.

This ain't Columbus, Ohio or Springfield, Missouri.

These people might know Yemen but they obviously don't know anything about Detroit.

How dumb.*

*Look, don't get me wrong. I know terrorism is no laughing matter. We all agree on that but they picked the wrong city.

Look, mess with Pudge at your own risk.

On his website in an addendum to a recent article on bad teams signing bad players, Sports Illustrated writer, Jeff Pearlman offers the following:

"PS: A side note: I was thinking this morning about Pudge Rodriguez. A bunch of years ago, I visited Pudge's house in Miami. He was friendly and nice and sorta dull, but two things stand out: First, he had a ton of books in his library - stuff like biographies of FDR and Lincoln; profiles of great debates, etc. I picked up one of the books to read through it - and the pages were empty. One hundred percent empty. All the books. They were merely for show, brought in by some interior decorator. Second, in his backyard, he had an enormous bronze statue of...Pudge Rodriguez. In catching garb."

I knew about the statue.

With regards to the "books" or more accurately book bindings with paper in them, leave Pudge alone, will ya?!

If he had used real books, he would have deprived them from people who really wanted to read them. It's a selfless act. A "win win" for all sides.

Menacing looking guys on baseball cards don't need no stinkin books! Get off his back!

First and last warning.

Good Grief!

I am a little out of sorts this Christmas, Linus.

I finally got over that "rock" thing from Halloween but this morning Santa only left me a weird comic book and a Billy Idol cd.

All I asked for was a baseball glove!

What the....?

Santa hates me.

Are you listening, Linus?


Merry Christmas all!

He will get down somehow

Don't worry, Skate Kid. He will get down that chimney tonight.

He will!

We will even leave the front door unlocked "just in case".

The difference is only $182,492,435

AP reports that the Florida Marlins again finished with the lowest payroll in baseball last year coming in at $37,532,482. The difference between them and the top-spending Yankees was a mere $182,492,435.

Think about it. These two teams are competing in the same league.*

You know, if you make the kids start paying, you might have a few more dollars.**

Just sayin.

*No, I am not talking about the "American League" and "National League" but you get the picture.

**From a selfish perspective as a father of two young baseball fans, I don't think kids should pay for anything but still....

Welcome! (oh, don't mind that over there, ok?)

The Boston Herald reports that newly signed pitcher for the Red Sox, John Lackey and his wife, Krista were in town last week. As many visitors do, they stopped to get a bite to eat at a restaurant in Kenmore Square. So far, near perfect.

Apparently, Krista put her nice fur coat on a chair where an inebriated patron promptly threw up on it. Not even a fur protester to my knowledge. Just a drunk guy.

Welcome to Bawston, lady!*

What?! You thought this was gonna be a bed of roses here?!

*Apparently she is from the area so no doubt has seen vomitus maximus in restaurants before. On St. Patrick's Day, it is even green.

(You know this is one of the few Goudeys this year that makes the player look better than in real life but again it's Lackey)

Lynn Henning's Hall of Fame ballot

I see that lowly-regarded and logic-challenged Detroit News columnist, Lynn Henning, he of the "get that bum Curtis Granderson out of here already" fame has published his completed Hall of Fame ballot.

Here are his choices:

Roberto Alomar
Bert Blyleven
Andre Dawson
Barry Larkin
Edgar Martinez
Tim Raines
Alan Trammell

Actually I am a little surprised.

Well, heck let's just go with "shocked".

It looks like a respectable ballot.*

I half-expected him to pencil in some votes for some career minor-leaguers.

*If it were me, I think I would trim it down to Alomar, Raines and Martinez but the other choices are defensible.

Blame Lloyd?! Are you nuts?

Ian Casselberry at the very fine Tigers blog www.blessyouboys.com reports that sources suggest that the Tigers hitting coach, Lloyd McClendon* may have been partly responsible for the Tigers hitting woes last year.

Apparently, Miguel Cabrera, Magglio Ordonez and Placido Polanco refused to work with him and Curtis Granderson and other Tiger hitters travelled to Toledo to work with Mud Hens batting coach Leon Durham rather than work with McClendon. One of the sources refers to McClendon as manager Jim Leyland's "buddy".**

OK, NOW HOLD ON JUST ONE COTTON-PICKIN SECOND HERE!

I don't think these "sources" know who they are talking about nor do they know their history very well. Pull up a chair.

In the 1971 Little League World Series, Lloyd McClendon hit 5 home runs in a row and in the championship game after he hit his first home run, he was intentionally walked 4 times! THE GUY HIT 5 CONSECUTIVE HOME RUNS! He was an absolute beast at 12 years old! Pre-pubescent pitchers whimpered in fear when he came to the plate!

As far as replacing him as the Tigers hitting coach, if McClendon was just any old little leaguer like Kelly Leak or someone well then ok BUT THE GUY HIT 5 HOME RUNS IN A ROW IN THE 1971 LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES AND THEN WAS INTENTIONALLY WALKED 4 TIMES AFTER THAT! I am sure that he did not forget how to hit! You are supposed to get smarter with age, you know.

Who are you going to replace him with? George Brett? Rod Carew? Tony Gwynn? How many home runs did they hit in a row at the Little League World Series?

Ok, then. So give it a rest.

*He is playing a really shallow "OF" in that card.

**Normally any buddy of the Marlboro Man is no buddy of mine but I will make an exception here because of McClendon's 1971 performance. Think that's a dumb reason? Think you could hit 5 home runs in a row? Case closed.

That Johnny Damon is so "Raw"

Alden Gonzalez of mlb.com reports that unemployed ex-Yankee, Johnny Damon hosted WWE's "Monday Night Raw" this Monday. For the uninitiated, this is a professional wrestling show.

He avoided any action in the ring though he was involved in some backstage skits.

In one instance, he apparently mistakenly found himself under a mistletoe with Santa Claus-dressed wrestler Sgt. Slaughter but Damon somehow got away but not before Slaughter told him "Don't ask, don't tell".

Still Damon soldiered on but committed another error (no DH on Raw) when he lingered under the mistletoe again and was blindsided by Mae Young, an 86 year old ex-wrestler who tackled him to the ground and engaged him in a liplock.

Look, I know that he has to pay the bills and all but he should just go sign with a team. Not only would he make a little more money but this other stuff would probably be considered sexual harassment in a major league baseball environment so he wouldn't have to worry about that.

Gainful employment really does wonders for the self-esteem.

Just ask Mickey Rourke.

They don't serve this at the ballpark

Wimpy beer only at the concessions.

No "BYO20/20" allowed there either. I tried it.

So I don't go.

Al Kaline - Detrot icon

Saturday was Al Kaline's 75th birthday and to mark the occasion, the Detroit Free Press asked it's readers to forward some of their memories of this Detroit icon.

To back up a bit, growing up in Detroit in the 1960's and 1970's, I can tell you that Al Kaline literally was thought of as a god and baseball here started and ended with Al Kaline. Yes, the Tigers had other beloved players like Willie Horton, Bill Freehan, Norm Cash etc but Al Kaline was #1 in the Tiger pantheon with #2 nowhere close to him. It would be hard to describe to an outsider just how iconic Al Kaline was (and to some extent still is) in this town.

Nationally, everybody knows the great stars from the large markets like New York (and by extension Brooklyn), Chicago and Los Angeles but the smaller markets had their heroes as well. St. Louis had Stan Musial, Pittsburgh had Roberto Clemente and a friend of mine from Philadelphia told me that unless you are from Philly, you cannot appreciate how much Richie Ashburn is loved there. I believe it because we experienced something like that with Al Kaline, a player who is not revered nationally.

I could go on and on about Al Kaline but I will just say that Kaline is still employed by the Tigers and is a regular at the ballpark. He is a humble "man of the people" and is quite approachable and while I am sure that it has happened once or twice, I can't see him refusing an autograph for a fan. I don't think I have ever heard a negative word about Al Kaline. I will leave it at that.

Well, anyway back to the fan's memories of Kaline as submitted to the paper. All were good and many spoke of Al's openness and kindness with the fans but one submission stood out for me above the rest.

Here it is:

"Al Kaline played his first full season with the Detroit Tigers in 1953 at the age of 18 years old. I was 12 years old at the time and my buddies and I found out that the new rookie, Al Kaline, had moved to Oak Park and lived a couple blocks from me. Of course, we were huge Tiger fans so we'd ride our bikes by his house several times a day, hoping to see him. We also made sure we had our ball gloves and a baseball or two with us.

One day we saw him in his front yard and we asked him if he'd play catch with us. He did so for about 15 minutes and it was definitely a special day in my young life. We were in awe of him but he was so nice and also kind of shy so we liked him that much more.

Happy 75th birthday, Al.

Wanna play catch?

Dan McKane, Canton"

I bet that he would still do it today.

Al Kaline? All ours.

Dempster loves it!

Per Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune, Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster really likes the trade that brought starting pitcher, Carlos Silva to the Cubs for Milton Bradley.

"For us, we have a guy who's capable of eating innings* when he's healthy, and it sounds like he is."

"I know (Silva's) a really good guy.** A lot of guys (opposing hitters? CC) speak very highly of him. (The trade) definitely helps our team."

Dempster sees a guy with an ERA of 6.46 and 8.60 the last two years with a guaranteed roster spot because of his contract who has practically no chance of moving him out of starting rotation and also occupies a roster spot that could be used on somebody that potentially could.

That hot shot pitcher in AAA? Forget about him. Silva has his roster spot.

Dempster's no fool.

*Innings-eater: the ultimate back-handed compliment bordering on an insult in baseball.

**Another back-handed compliment.

The Yankees lay out the welcome mat for Granderson

Curtis Granderson said that her will wear No. 14 with the Yankees, the number his father used to wear in a men's softball league.

Gulp.

A productive player with a reasonable salary, well spoken, LOVED in the community and honors his parents.

And the Tigers couldn't wait to get rid of him. Couldn't have him around. "Who wants him?"

I punish my kids when they make critical thinking errors like this.*

*Well not really but you get the point.

Walt "No Neck" Williams

Happy 66th Birthday to Walt "No Neck" Williams!

You know, usually nicknames are designed to be funny, endearing and/or somewhat descriptive. They are not usually a literal description of the person in question.

Orlando Cepeda was not literally a "Baby Bull".

Andre "The Hawk" Dawson does not have wings.

Sal "The Barber" Maglie did not bring scissors to the mound.

Tom "Flash" Gordon cannot run as fast as Flash and never flashed anyone that I am aware of.

You get the picture.

But what about Walt "No Neck" Williams?

Look at that card above. I will let you decide but I don't see any neck on that torso; not even a millimeters worth.

Now growing up, I listened to quite a few baseball games on the radio as every game was not on television like today. The Tigers obviously played the White Sox and Indians quite a bit and I never ever heard Walt Williams referred to as anything other than Walt "No Neck" Williams or just "No Neck" Williams.

I don't think Williams minded this much and I never heard him complain about it. What would he have said anyway? He couldn't have said, "Liar!" or anything like that. He was stuck.

Actually, "No Neck" must have been quite the trooper. Think about it. How do you play baseball like that?

I see that Williams hit 33 home runs in 10 years. Pretty pathetic for a normal player but not for "No Neck". How do you "turn on a fastball" and really rip it if you have no neck. You can't!

In the field, if he lost a hard hit liner really bad in the lights and it was coming for his neck, the ball would have to hit either his head or chest because well.......he had no neck. What if Reggie Jackson hit it? Sorry, you need a neck out there. Try it without one if you don't believe me.

Now take a look at that Ted Williams card above.

Notice anything?

Now there's a ballplayer.

My garbage for your trash?

The Cubs trade Milton Bradley to the Mariners for Carlos Silva.

A "mad at the world" malcontent for a portly underachiever who well.........blows. Oh, and neither can simply be cut or waived as they are both in the middle of guaranteed long term contracts.

It's like David Hasselhoff for Pauly Shore.

Carrot Top* for Bob Goldwaith.

William Hung for that one guy in Milli Vanilli who is still alive.

Both sides lose.

*There are a lot of words in the English language but not one that quite describes Carrot Top's "new" appearance above.

So that's why!

When I was a little kid, that 1969 Topps card above scared me. It literally made me a bit uneasy just looking at it.

You see, Zoilo Versalles does not at all look like a baseball player in this card. It really looks like the photograph might have been taken at the prison yard at Rikers Island or just before Zoilo did something horrible to get himself sent to Rikers Island. Why so angry?

Another thing. Zoilo Versalles looks like really really old in that card. At this point in his career, he would have only been 28 years old but in this card, he looks worn and weathered and closer to 48 years old. Where did the other two decades go?

I also remember that as a kid, I had a hard time assimiliating Zoilo Versalles' name with his face and that creeped me out a little. You know how Mickey Mantle looked like a "Mickey" and Joe Torre looks like a "Joe"? Well in my 7 year old mind, I thought this guy kind of looked like "Gonna Kill You" with his first, middle and last names but not really a Zoilo. I had never met a Zoilo before (or since) so I did not know what a Zoilo looked like. Was this the template? Ok but.....

As an adult, in looking through various Zoilo Versalles cards, I think they offer an important clue as to why he looked so darn angry in that 1969 card. It's probably the "Zorro" thing. Now Zoilo grew up in Cuba and no doubt worked hard perfecting his baseball skills enough that he came to the United States and then continued working his way up the minor league ladder and up to the major leagues. The pinnacle, right?

He then finally gets his own Topps rookie card in 1961 and he looks at it and sees himself identified as "Zorro Versalles". Zorro! This was probably the name that all the kids constantly teased him with growing up! He turned to baseball to get away from all that! He of all people did not need this type of error on his rookie card. He couldn't even show it to his family and friends!

Then Zoilo Versalles improbably wins the 1965 A.L. MVP and after that, people should be able to remember him by his real name, right? Especially a card company. No! On the back of the 1968 card, they mention his 1965 A. L. MVP award however it is accompanied by a Zorro cartoon figure playing baseball with a cape, mask and sword. What the...? He was 1965 A. L. MVP and this is how Topps "honors" him? He has reason to be angry. For the ten millionth time, he is not Zorro! Never has been. Never will be. He never even held a sword and only wore a mask at Halloween and also that one night. I can see how this could put anybody into a life-long funk.

Well, after all these years of wondering about that card, I think the mystery behind it has finally been solved. Listen here people! It's Zoilo! Not Zorro! He doesn't know nothing about fencing! He doesn't usually wear black! Get it right!

Everybody's got a right to their own name after all.*

*This does not however touch on the question of why this guy looks so "old" in that card. Oh, well. I know that Zoilo Versalles died in 1995 and no doubt had enough of the "Zorro" thing up until then. Because of that, we should probably cut him some slack regarding the "appearance" thing. Ok?.......but he did look pretty ancient there though.

Jorge, come again?!

"We have to try to get one more starter. I think Cashman knows it. I think it's a priority for us. Hopefully, we can get that." Jorge Posada to Sweeny Murti and Ed Coleman on WFAN radio.

I guess he doesn't like Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain very much.

Borrowing a phrase from the "poet", Paul Stanley, I say this, "Shout it out loud!"

Jorge, "Shout it out loud!"

That Billy Ripken guy!

Happy 45th Birthday to Billy Ripken; he of the 1989 Fleer f*!$@*! card* fame.

In addition to celebrating the anniversary of his birth, we would really like to celebrate this impressive achievement of photographic tomfoolery but we can't because you see, to this day, Billy will not admit that he did this little stunt on purpose. That is cool and everything but while Billy really fooled that photographer and several Fleer employees up the line, we are not so gullible here.

There is absolutely NO WAY that Billy Ripken just picked up some random bat that was lying around that just so happened to have a very clear obscenity written on the knob in fresh black marker and then just so happened to hold it just right during the photo shoot so that those two little magic words (or is it just one compound word?) could be seen in all their glory on the 1989 Fleer card. Umm, sorry. No way.

Billy, the statute of limitations has long since passed on this whole thing so I think you can safely admit to your mischievous little caper here. If you do, we could at least give you like a "thumbs-up" or something but you have to admit to this first. We don't just celebrate accidental things that happen to people here, you know.

Now are you sure you don't have something to tell everybody about this?

*Yea, we got the "censored" version above. Family-friendly site, you know.

So where does this leave ARod?

So multiple sources are reporting that A-Rod and Kate Hudson have split up.

Ok, whatever.

Well, on second thought, hold on here.

Just what does this do for A-Rod's religious affiliation(s)?

Ok, let's get this straight.

He started out Catholic out of the womb, then married into Greek Orthodox, found Jewish Kabbalah while hooking up with Madonna and then was flirting with Buddhism due to Kate Hudson's brainwashing.....err influence. I think that is right.

Well what is he now?

Tell you what. If you hear a knock at the door and you look out and see a guy with black slacks and a white shirt with a very attractive lady holding Jehovah Witness literature, don't answer the door if you don't want to debate religion with A-Rod.

Oh, and have the common courtesy to immediately call your neighbors and warn them. They will appreciate it.

I know I would.

No comment

Umm, yea, let's just go with no comment.

January 2010 cover (really)

There is some SERIOUSLY bad timing going on here.

Sorry about all the golf/Tiger posts but when they hand you this stuff on a silver platter well....

If only everything was this easy

"Where are you going?"*

"Going to do some Christmas shopping."

"Getting anything for us?" (Skate Kid referring to himself and Computer Boy**)

"Maybe."

"Get cards!"

So I did.

That was easy.

(But if I open them, I will have to go get some more)

*When I was a kid, I really did not much care where one parent was going when they left the house but these kids are different.

**Computer Boy reads this blog but he knows that cards on Christmas is a certainty so no spoiled surprises here.

They did it again!

What the.......?

Countdown to lawsuit: 5,4,3,2....

Scott Rolen - Topps Ticket to Stardom

If I was Scott Rolen, I would sue!

*Maliciously and illegally altering a photograph!

*Photo copyright infringement! No, on second thought, photo copyright obliteration!

*Defamation of character! Heck, assassination of character! Better yet, assassination of appearance!

That and whatever else I could think of.

I would throw everything but the kitchen sink at them.

And then more stuff.

What is their's would then be mine.

Tiger has at least one (male) friend

The Chicago Sun-Times reports that a close Tiger Woods insider advises that Kobe Bryant has called his friend to tell him to keep cool and that all would work out, "once all this blows over".

Kobe! Stay up on things!

He already offered her $5 mil to stay so your "Give her a diamond ring, trust me!" advice is not going to work here.

Have you seen the list of ladies?

Even the Hope Diamond probably wouldn't do it so give it a rest, ok!

Retribution from a fan!

In an article in the Toronto Star, Mark Zwolinski relays a story, the moral of which is it is never a good idea for a professional athlete to refuse to sign an autograph for a fan. Read on. You will see.

Rewind to 1983, Brendan Shanahan is an impressionable 14 year old hockey fan and approached Maple Leafs star, Rick Vaive for an autograph and was turned down. Bad move by Vaive, let me tell you.

Fast forward 4 years to 1987 and Rick Vaive who was finishing his career with the Sabres lined up for a faceoff with Brendan Shanahan who was just called up to the New Jersey Devils.

I will let Shanahan describe the encounter:

"When the puck dropped, I attacked Rick Vaive. It was a quiet uneventful game. He couldn't believe the rage I had, not only in attacking him, but it took two linesmen to restrain me afterwards and throw me in the penalty box."

Apparently, Vaive was stunned by the melee and asked former teammate, Jim Korn who was then with the Devils what was wrong with Shanahan.

"He said...'By the way, what's wrong with that kid and why was he coming after me?" said Shanahan. "Jim Korn said, 'Apparently he asked you for an autograph when he was a little kid and you weren't friendly to him. So he's harboured those feelings since then."

Story of the millennium! "Fan turned player" gets retribution for a slight years earlier! I bet Vaive never refused an autograph request from 1987 on!

You betcha that is Brendan Shanahan above signing an autograph for that boy. You never know where that kid is going to be in 5 years. Shanahan's no dummy.*

*I don't care if Shanahan is retired. He still walks the streets, doesn't he?

Happy Birthday Dalton Jones but.....

.....and I repeat BUT before everybody gets into too much of a celebratory mood, let's remember July 9th, 1970, a day that will live in inf.....well it was a day anyway.

On that day, while playing for the Detroit Tigers, Dalton Jones hit a home run with the bases loaded. Grand slam right? Nope. While running the bases on his "home run" trot, Dalton somehow passed baserunner, Don Wert between first and second base and was called out (umpires always be alert!) ending up with a 3 rbi single.

How do you pass a runner on your home run jaunt? Don Wert was not a speed demon but he couldn't have been that slow. Was Wert tying his shoe? Tagging up at first? Waiving to friends in the crowd?

Even when Jimmy Piersall ran the bases backwards after that one home run, he never passed anybody on the bases. He would at least have an excuse, right?

Fact is stranger than fiction, I guess.

Oh well, I guess Dalton Jones endured the ultimate "walk of shame" back to the dugout that day so I guess that is punishment enough. He does not need people bringing this up on his birthday or anything so let's give the guy a break.

Well anyway, Happy 66th Birthday Dalton Jones.

Sorry to bring that other thing up and I know Don Wert was as slow as turtle but still....

The Royals want this guy? For what?

Per Bob Dutton of the Kansas City Star, the Royals are interested in signing Jason Kendall as their starting catcher next year. No, seriously.

"We'd like to get somebody who can help (Luke) Hochevar and (Kyle) Davies," general manager Dayton Moore said. "We've got to be open to all possibilities. There just aren't that many guys out there."

Jason Kendall only threw out 20% of baserunners last year. That ain't "helping".

He also batted .241 and only hit 2 home runs (both of them) with 43 rbis. That doesn't "help" either.

Kansas City should keep looking.

Well, you know if he could shoot off all that electricity on the field like he does in that photo, maybe......MAYBE......I would consider him because that would be cool to see but in the end, I think he is a "no-go".

Bob Uecker has a stalker?

Per AP, a Wisconsin appeals court has upheld a restraining order that bans Ann Ladd from attending games where Brewers announcer, Bob Uecker is announcing. Uecker says that Ladd has stalked him for years approaching him after games, hiding and then jumping out unexpectedly to talk to him and also staying on the same floor of his hotel and visiting him at the pool. Previously a court issued a four-year injunction against her and Ms. Ladd argued that the restraining order violated her consititutional right to travel. She wants more Uecker.

Bob Uecker has a stalker?

How?

Why?

I am sure that he is a nice guy and we know that he is funny but he is......Bob Uecker. In the card above, he does not exactly look like a guy the ladies would swoon over; and that picture is over 45 years old. Obviously, things don't generally get better over time for anybody in that department so just what is going on here?

Another thing. If you are going to do some crazy stalking behavior and subject yourself to criminal penalries, fines, attorney fees etc, go all out and do it for someone like, I don't know, Derek Jeter or something. If you are going to stalk somebody, pick a true star and STALK him. Better yet, make your availability known to Tiger Woods and then he will stalk you. Much easier.

Who else has a stalker?

Does Tommy Lasorda have a stalker?

Did Casey Stengel have a stalker?

Bobby Cox?

What's the deal here?

Said between puffs of smoke

Per John Tomase of the Boston Herald, this was Jim Leyland's* response to the question of why the Tigers have so many productive players on the trade market:

"You can stop right there. All they are is rumors. We've assured everyone of this. Anyone who thinks the Detroit Tigers are having a fire sale is foolish. Because we are not. I can assure you of that and I'll leave it at that. Anything else you have you should direct to the general manager."

That's enough confirmation for me. It looks like the Tigers are a having a colossal fire sale!

Hey, can we add the manager to it?

*You know, smoking one million cigarettes is quite a feat and as a bonus you also get the benefit of having a lung x-ray with colors on it never seen before in medical journals.

Congratulations, you swine!

What's the opposite of classy?

Per Tom Brown of Yahoo Sports, in comments made after his election into the baseball Hall of Fame, Whitey Herzog made the following comment referring to the Cardinals:

"They could win the division without Holliday. You can't commit suicide in baseball. Sign one contract that's bad, you're going to suffer, so you've got to be careful."

Sounds reasonable. Who can argue?

Well this guy.

Matt Holliday's agent, Scott Boras responded with the following:

"Congratulations to Whitey on an extraordinary managerial career and his Hall of Fame selection today. It's understandable that a man who was a GM 20 years ago when the revenues were $1 billion - over six times less than the $6.5 billion revenues of today - questions the modern-day contract structure. I don't think modern GMs, particularly Cashman, with a new ring on his finger, characterize signings like Mark Teixeira - who akin to Holliday has achieved near MVP status (both second in the MVP voting in their career) and taken his team to the World Series - as 'suicide'. In addition, I'm sure if Whitey asks Pujols, Carpenter and other Cardinals players, they would confirm the value of Holliday's division winning contribution. Again, we congratulate Whitey on his admittance into the Hall of Fame."

The opposite of classy?

Yeah, that.

I know it is a natural urge to procreate but.....

.......apparently we are up to 10 "Tiger Girls"* now.

10?!

I hope he was (is?) being careful.

Like REALLY REALLY careful.

Otherwise, Tiger Woods meet Steve Garvey.

You would get a new generation of "super-golfers" and all but he's not like a retired racehorse, you know.

* Not counting his wife though I guess she doesn't count anyway as reports say she is "gone".